Earworm — or threat to my family?
T’other day, I came across a post in a political blog in which the writer confessed to being addicted to the below music video, Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.”
And, like the poor bastards in “Infinite Jest,” I clicked and was caught. I just LOVE it. I’ve watched the video a zillion times, and the song is constantly bouncing around in my head. Now, I love to share things like this with my daughters, of course, but in this case, my wife feels that it’s a horribly exploitative bit of “pornography” that will send the Wrong Message to our young charges, namely, that they should dance around in skimpy clothes and thrust their pelvises willy-nilly. So I put the question to you, loyal if sparse readers: is the video for Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” a wonderful, brilliantly performed dance number set to an irresistably catchy pop tune, or is it an offensive step backward for female empowerment? I suggest watching and rewatching the video to aid in your deliberation.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’d much rather have my daughter bounce around pell-mell and willy-nilly to this than have her listen to Beyonce’s other recent single “If I Were a Boy.” Talk about an offensive step backward for female empowerment. That song is not only offensively sexist, it’s a giant bummer. This song, on the other hand, is delightfully fun, though it may cause cavities.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Gotta go with the wife on this one.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:32 am
The outfits are actually fairly covered up for what they are, and aren’t any different from what your daughters would encounter if they took ballet or gymnastics. The dancing isn’t inherently offensive. It’s fairly tame as far as modern music videos go… and the “strong single woman” message encoded in earworm form isn’t necesarilly something bad for your kids to hear either.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Well, I hate to say it, but I don’t think it is something you should share with your daughters. I have a real problem with the lines “If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.” Because that implies that women can be bought. As I’m not particularly fond of being chattel or of encouraging young girls to think of themselves this way, I don’t think that is appropriate. Also there is some line about a man who “takes me and makes me and delivers me to a destiny.” Really?! Is that what you want your daughter to grow up to believe? Or do you want them to make themselves, to power their own destinies?
Also the costumes and dancing remind me way too much of Jamie Lee Curtis in the ’80s movie Perfect.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Didn’t we watch Jane Fonda in less clothing back in 82 and called it exercise?
November 18th, 2008 at 9:02 am
I have to say, that video was fairly…thrusty. From a creative production perspective, I have to say the video was really well done. But being 19, I have few skills and even less knowledge in the realm of parenting. One could make the argument that this video is empowering to women, to which some feminists may scoff. But I think feminists still have bigger fish to fry. Perhaps if you preface the video with something like “Don’t ever. ever. do this.”?
November 18th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I find neither the song nor the dancing catchy or brilliant. On the other hand, I don’t find the video particularly offensive, either. The dancers (and choreographer) are obviously talented. Just another piece of pop fluff that will go largely unnoticed in my world.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I do think it’s a catchy tune, and I can see how it would be fun to share with kids. However, I’m with your wife on the video. I wouldn’t show it to my kids. (Of course, I am a terrible old-fashioned - though young - fogey and don’t have a TV in my house, so make of that what you will.)
November 18th, 2008 at 9:25 am
I think I’ve done the worst possible thing: I watched the video with the sound off. Now that is truly sexist. And I might do it again. I am a bad person.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Hey, it could be far, far, FAR worse. As a woman who just got her ring on, I don’t think the reference is about purchasing a woman. I think marriage is very empowering! (And honestly, if it wasn’t, would there be such a fuss about Prop 8? Power to everybody equally…) Whether or not you show it to your daughters is something I cannot personally answer not knowing them, but I don’t think it is any more damaging than many commercials on TV. I agree with Nixter, however — in the long run, it won’t be a monumental moment in their/our lives. But kudos to the dancers and choreographers.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I think that, someday, your girls might appreciate the choreography, skill and athleticism involved in a dance number like this. Especially that bit where they do the lunges. Holy cow! My knees hurt just watching.
As far as sexy videos go, this one is pretty tame. I don’t think it would rate on VH1’s 50 Sexiest Video Moments. The bathing suits the dancers are wearing provide pretty good coverage (except for maybe the aforementioned pelvis area) and are modest by modern standards. There is gyrating, but most of it is not especially sexually suggestive, to my eye.
However, I’m not sure that the girls will grok either your or your wife’s point. They’ll probably just see it as a fun video with cool dancing. They will also probably want to emulate it. They may or may not get the sexy subtext.
November 18th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Instead of showing it to them, I think you should dress up in a sparkly onesie yourself and imitate the moves….
November 18th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Any discussion of this video is lessened unless you mention last weekend’s SNL skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2I121W5AlA
(Watch it quick. NBC is going overboard pulling it.)
November 18th, 2008 at 10:41 am
i caught beyonce’s performance on SNL and what I want to know is: what is up with that metal half-glove? is it some sort of mind control device? a weird thumbing at michael jackson? is beyonce the last Cylon?
November 18th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I agree with what Carriep said, esp this:
I know I would’ve.
And I’m incredibly tickled that you loooove Beyonce. I find it really hilarious for some reason.
Oh, did you see this great homage?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ifGHUfR5Ks
SFW, if skinny gay guys in speedos dancing is SFW for you.
November 18th, 2008 at 10:58 am
The song is not about buying women. The song is about what we euphimistically call “committment.” After three years, she wanted a ring (i.e. an engagement or wedding ring). So, now she’s giving up on him, and going back to being single. That’s not a step back.
The dancing is quite pelvic, sure. The outfits are not particularly revealing — the male versions on SNL were much more….”explicit” shall we say? The ladies are not grinding up against some guy(s), or explicitly sexualizing their movements.
But are those movements inherently sexual? Is nudity inherently sexual?
I would suggest that nudity should NOT be seen as inherently sexual. I have a harder time suggesting pelvic thrusting is not, however. Perhaps its an “eye of the beholder” thing, but I expect that if a guy were to see your daughters doing that, it would either appear sexual or as an attempt by them to play at sexuality. Of course, kids need to play at sexuality, as it is part of the growth and development proccess. But as a parent, this kind of thing would freak me out.
Does that make her right? Well, it means that she’s having a understandable reaction. And that you might be a little careless. Or, you might be a bit progressive. Or, that you might be a total perv.
I’m not really answering the question, am I?
November 18th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I just watched it again, and I’ve got to take back some of what I wrote. There’s a whole lot of a (hip) shakin’ going on, but not really much pelvic thrusting. Women dance with their hips — as well they should!
So, she’s being a bit too protective and puritan, as I was upon my initial viewing of the video. I still think that it could well be a part of girls playing at sexuality and maturity, but I don’t think that it is a particularly scary example of it.
Pretty safe.
November 18th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I’d say it’s an earworm and not a family threat or even remotely pornographic.
Your girls probably see more provocative images in print advertising and the television on daily basis. I agree with most of what Ivy @ #4 has to say. Why do we women need men to validate us and make us feel worthy? If you want your girls listening to a song with Beyonce’ singing, have them listen to Indepent Women, Pt 1.
If you like it, enjoy it guilt free. And let your girls watch it, as there’s no time like the present to start developing critical thinking skills and have them challenging messages presented. OTOH they might think “Ooh! Pretty! That song has a nice beat and is easy to dance to.”
Personally, I think your kids get worse messages from being exposed to shows like The Suite Life of Zack ansd Cody.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I always have plenty to say about questions like Peter’s, although I usually can’t convince myself even of my own opinions. Anyway, the short answer is that I can’t answer it as either-or. I agree with the first assertion - nice dance video to a catchy tune, but at the same time, I can’t agree that it doesn’t at least in some way, objectify or otherwise ‘disempower’ women.
Long answer:
1. This bureau takes a backseat to nobody in its admiration and all-out lust for the irresistably cute, talented, sexy, charming, breathtakingly beautiful Ms. Knowles. So I guess that sorta biases my opinion…
2. Notwithstanding the fact that I’ve been challenged to “man up” a few times in my life, my status as a 46XY (no jokes, please) probably renders my opinion about empowerment of women less valid than that of the womenfolk ’round here.
3. I don’t have daughters, only sons. When you have sons (middle schoolers and above), you RELISH in watching this kind of stuff with them. Male bonding…facilitating a successful maiden voyage into the Testosterone Sea…and yeah, using it as a platform for maybe discussing dating, committment, etc. Now, if I had daughters, I gotta say, I think I might feel differently.
As to whether this sort of thing is a positive or negative reflection of women…some people have said that a woman “celebrating her sexuality” is neither wrong nor demeaning, just human, while others call it objectification. I honestly don’t know which is right. I suppose either is valid, depending on the sensibility of the woman involved. Some people are comfortable letting it all hang out, others are reserved. Is there a right or wrong?
In our achievement- and education-oriented culture, it has become almost taboo or at least politically incorrect to celebrate a person’s (especially a female person’s) physical beauty, as if this is a base, neolithic sentiment that we’ve somehow eclipsed in the modern world. I think this is a shame, because I don’t think there is anything wrong with celebrating beauty. Beauty is a virtue. Not to get off on a philosophical tangent, but part of the objection to this kind of thing - a sexy video - I think is rooted in this ill-conceived idea that beauty is not worthy of reverence.
I confess that I share in the red-blooded male drooling over the constant, ever-increasing stream of sexual imagery in pop culture, and I certainly don’t believe in censoring it. But I do think it’s gone a bit too far as it pertains to children. The T-shirts in stores, in sizes appropriate for 7 year old girls, with statements like “Juicy” or “Sexy” or worse on them…can’t be right, can it?
So, if you buy the slippery slope concept, Beyonce’s video ends up on the kids’ T-shirts, and by that yardstick it’s wrong. Yes, as others have said, it’s pretty tame by modern standards, but it’s a sex-themed message, there is no debating that, and once you open the door…
In the end, though, we are responsible. We are all adults. We can enjoy this stuff all we want, but I side with your wife, Peter, in saying that little girls (and little boys) probably ought not see it…certainly not 15 times in a row, while Dad sits there tapping his foot and singing along.
Now excuse me while I try to get my work done so I can watch it a few more times.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I gotta go with your wife on the message of the song itself (see this for why… the message may be a step up from “never stand up for yourself,” but it’s not really promoting true “strength” IMO), but the video is terribly, wonderfully compelling. It’s like a full-length, on-crack version of one of those Gap holiday commercials from a few years back. And I don’t see it as inappropriate or “porny” from a visual standpoint.
I am also concerned that the first time I heard the song, it did nothing for me and I actively sort of disliked it, but just by hearing the first minute or so of it one more time, I now like it. I’m afraid to listen again because I’m not sure what will happen. Hmm.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Interesting question - my first thought was much like Deana @ #5 - I’m pretty sure I did similar things alongside my mom and Jane Fonda in the 80’s. (Shiver
That said, I’d go with how old your girls are and is it something they’ll likely see anyway. If so, view it with them. If not, there’s nothing to be gained by showing it to them since there’s no way to know how they’ll take it. (My experience with 2 daughters tells me they RARELY take it how I think they will, and if it is an earworm I’ll be subjected to it and its recreations in my home for weeks! - like High School Musical!)
November 18th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Sadly, I have to agree with the previous commenters that your daughters have probably seen far worse. Sigh.
I didn’t find it offensive. But I didn’t find it all that entertaining or fabulous, either. Of course, I’m notoriously un-hip.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I ama father with two daughters, 9 and 1 yrs old. I wouldn’t show it to them mainly because I’d be afraid they would like it and subject me to listening to it more than the once i just did. Sorry but I’m having a hard time getting past teh fact I don’t like the music AT ALL. At 38 I feel too old to enjoy it. poor me.
But I also don’t like it from a message stand point the line “put a ring on it” seems to point toward women as property and marriage as a goal unto itself. I agree with many others here that the sexuality is milder than much of pop culture so I can’t object on that basis.
I also have to echo what madbard (#14) said; What is it with the metalic hand? It makes her look like a sexy villan from a Roger Moore era James Bond film.
November 18th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Silly people. I think they’ll live.
Besides, I’m 18 and I’m still practically oblivious to lyrics.
November 18th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I’m not a parent, so ‘grain of salt’ and all that. It seemed pretty tame to me; and pretty insipid, musically. But for a small child to be watching, hearing, and potentially emulating? No way. It’s just not necessary. There is enough high-quality and relevant music and video out there for kids to enjoy - and not just ‘kids music’. If they were to suddenly break into song and dance in public or in front of grandparents, would you want it to be this song?
November 18th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Alright. We’ve got three things up for review here, right? The lyrics, the dancing, and the costumes.
Costumes: Honestly, I agree with those voting, “Tame.” I wore something like that as a failed ballet student. Every woman I know wears less to the swimming pool, me included. They no longer /make/ bathing suits with that much coverage.
Dancing: I don’t mind admitting this choreography won me over immediately. But is it appropriate for young girls? There’s definitely some pelvic thrusting in there, though as Alex pointed out, it’s got more ‘hip shaking’ than anything. But whereas more videos than not these days scream ’sex, lust and seduction’ from first frame to last, this one has something almost jubilant about it that I read very differently. The message I get from these three women is, “I am sexy,” not, “I exist for sex,” and to me that’s. Whether it’s appropriate for a particular age is definitely a decision for parents, but I don’t find it offensive, exploitative, or anti-woman in any way whatever.
Lyrics: To me, this part is easiest. I read the lyrics as a strong message, one more women should note: “I’m not an object. You don’t own me. If you won’t commit yourself to me, don’t expect me to commit myself to you. I am my own person!”
November 18th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Most of the dance moves are ones you’d see cheerleaders do at a high school football game.
I suppose you could say the line “shoulda put a ring on it” implies ownership. But in the song, she talks about the old boyfriend getting overly possessive in a club when he didn’t seem to care enough about her before. More than anything, it seems to defy that sense of objectification.
I think kids would find the video itself fun, and I think the lyrics support the idea of women going after what they want.
I say Aye for the vid.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
I guess I can’t get past the fact that this kind of Pop/R&B music does nothing for me. The video is kinda tame actually. I think that Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” song and video is a lot more provocative as it probably skews toward a much younger audience than Beyonce.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Thanks for the warning, Peter. I’m not going near that video. BTW, “your wife is always right” - now there’s an earworm for you.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Peter, be careful about taking marriage advice from the Internet, or your wife may wind up singing that song. Of course, this advice also comes from the Internet, and is merely snarky.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Well, as far as what your children should be watching…that is totally your call. Seems pretty harmless to me. That music is not my cuppa tea but I have to say it’s a bit refreshing to see some women with a healthy shape and a booty.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:21 am
My wife, who is smarter, hip-er, better looking, and waaaaay less verbose than me, said “It’s fine…nothing wrong with it. I’d show it to daughters; it’s a beautiful girl singing and dancing beautifully, that’s all.”
November 19th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Agree the video is neat…but didn’t find the song all that catchy…and if I had kids, I don’t think I’d deliberately share the video with ‘em….but then we don’t know what the kids haveto say about this.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I have to say I was generally non-committal about it all, but geek that I am, I was distracted by her left arm about halfway through the video and pretty much ignored everything else in favor of trying to figure out what the hell was going on there.
I was satisfied at least that they threw in a couple of little robot noises at the end when she flexed.
wow, I’m a sad case… I don’t think I’ve gotten over the fact that she appeared in that travesty of a movie-remake…
November 19th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Surely you jest, Peter. Beyonce’s crotch, Beyonce spanking herself, Beyonce singing: “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it?” Really? I could never let my girls watch this in good conscience. I mean I know there’s a lot worse stuff out there, but I don’t know that I would consider this female empowerment by a long shot. The message seems to be that as women we continued to be valued primarily for our bodies and that we have nothing more important to aspire to than a rock on our finger.
Rock on Beth.
November 19th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Wow– you have really hit a Beyonce-nerve here, huh? Holy comments, Batman!
Since my daughter is only 2, I find it difficult to think about this video from the parent perspective with her, but I can clearly say that I will not be wanting my 8 year old son to watch this anytime soon…
…or my husband, for that matter.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I think it comes down to one question: do you want your girls to put on their leotards from ballet class and recreate this dance for you? ‘Cause that’s what’ll happen.
November 20th, 2008 at 7:43 am
My current, unofficial tally of votes here is 19 for ‘fun, no biggie,’ and 9 for ‘not for kids.’
I’m sorta surprised it’s not the other way around. So I’m guessing that either:
1) the video IS tame and harmless, but when I see Beyonce dancing all the sex neurons in my brain start firing uncontrollably and I lose what limited capacity I had for rational thought and objectivity.
2) feminism has been re-defined and I am stuck somewhere in 1979.
3) I need to lighten up and worry about something more important.
November 20th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
What’s more scandalous than Beyonce’s half-naked thrusting* is the fact that the choreography for this video was 100% stolen from the eternal classic Walk It Out, Fosse.
*The video and accompanying song are so innocuous there needs to be a new word for it. Seriously. Your daughters are going to receive millions of more negative messages from influences outside of your realm in their lifetime. Teach them what you want them to believe and do not sweat the small pop-culture stuff. For reals.
November 20th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I’m with your wife.
I had a defining moment when I heard Dan Savage’s This American Life piece on the “Suite Life of Zach and Cody.” I’d seen that show 1-2 times and something about it always bothered me.
If you haven’t heard it, it is worth listening to:
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=328
This video brings up the same feelings in me as watching that Suite Life show…can’t put my finger on it, but something about it isn’t quite what I want my kids emulating now.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:39 am
HA - I thought it was hilarious! Cute song, great, sparse video and it’s kind of refreshing to see an artist who actually can sing and dance exploit her God-given talents instead of editors and special effects for a change. I love that song & think the lyrics are cute, even if the message is as old as time. If you want marriage then look for a husband. Don’t waste your time, girls! & if I looked like that in a leotard than guess what I’d be wearing 24×7.
November 21st, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Justin Timberlake makes the leotard look gooooooooood:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5qx-MVrXfk
I try really hard not to like him, but he seems to be such a good sport.
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 am
Did you know there is a parody of this video, stemming from Beyonce’s appearance on Saturday Night Live? Justin Timberlake was an unannounced cameo guest, and appeared with shaved legs and high heels along with Adam Sandberg. It was better than the original!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs6wkoLwsk0
The actual skit, which might be at the SNL web site, had several interruptions of the filming, and Justin proclaiming, “We’re the dancers, bitches!” Hilarious.
November 22nd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
My son is 23 and I think he’s wiser than me now. We weren’t all that careful with censoring what he saw when he was growing up, but we always used things like this as conversation starters. Obviously, this video is a champion conversation starter. There’s a lot to talk about. Things that your daughters ought to hear from you and your wife.
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
trust me, your kids can do a lot worse than this video. Seems like harmless dancing… any of Britney’s old videos are more provocative than this one. And as a teenager who has witnessed (and been extremely disturbed) by 10 yr olds singing “I’m in love with a stripper” and watching rap videos where girls wear nothing more than bikinis and exist to grind up against rappers, I’d rather you show your girls some music that is fairly harmless.
BTW, does your wife know that you’re asking this question on the internet??
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Wait, wait, wait, you people can understand the lyric? Wow, it just sounds like noise to me.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Hi Peter,
I have to agree with both of you on this one. I do find the video to be very delightful, musically, choreographically and sexually. I do however think that the video is not meant for people under the age of at least 16 (we send our kids to fight in wars to kill people at age 18, and don’t let them drink alcohol until they are 21, go America!). Although it is not pornographic in nature, it is very much sexual.
No doubt I think Beyonce is one hot woman, but I don’t think that I would want my daughters to be exposed at an early age to try to emulate this sort of behavior. I do consider audio and visual input to be a major factor in the formation of our youth (violent video games) and adult filtering is necessary in my opinion, do you have an internet filter on your home computer?
Love your show!
Jerry Long
Booneville, MS
November 24th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I saw more provocative dancing at my own high school prom 11 years ago, but that doesn’t mean this video is appropriate for all age groups (how old are your children?).
I think the choreography is fantastic and it showcases an empowering message to young women; use discretion as you (and your wife) have a better grasp on your daughters’ maturity levels.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Keith Jones, do you realize how much you’re sounding like your father/grandfather? The funny thing is, in middle age I graduated from punk and metal and indie rock to experimental noise and free-form jazz, so now I point out to my 80-year-old father that, while he used to accuse me of listening to nothing but noise, now I really do listen to nothing but noise. And it sounds great.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Beyonce is beautiful.
I think she is singing about something we our failing to teach to our daughters. Hell, its been several years they (couple) have been kicking it together and of course HE is loving “it” so why can’t HE committ? Basically if HE can’t committ then baby go back to being single there are a many of MAN that will love to take the opportunity to show you how strong of a man they are and how willing that person would committ.
To make it simple: buy the cow since you are drinking the milk. Beyonce just making the old fashion idea/belief more modern and hip.
I love the video and the ah oh oh ohs are caughty. Thanks for sharing. And trust me, your daughter would appreciate this type of song in the long run.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:33 am
personally, I find the music irritating and the dancing jarring…but as far as shaking their somewhat scantily-clad asses, more power to ‘em!
November 25th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I think your daughters will be just fine, but I recommend this as more family-friendly youtube entertainment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkA31t0n1Ew
November 25th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Ken Tucker today on Fresh air reviewed “Single Ladies” and he did give it a nod.
November 25th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
I had the same response - this music has a real hook (I first heard it in the parody on Saturday Night Live, which is brilliant). I’m a dyed in the wool feminist, but I wasn’t offended - the “message” I got was that the woman wanted “a ring” (ie, a commitment) and when she didn’t get it, she left - nothing anti-feminist about that.
As to whether to share it with your daughters or not, I’m afraid you don’t have a choice - it’s everywhere. I’d be very surprised if they haven’t heard and seen it already (if you limit their access to the Internet, they’ve probably seen a rendition by their friends)…
November 26th, 2008 at 7:23 am
piglet - #44. What a coincidence! At 23, your son thinks he’s wiser than you are, too.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:27 am
My .02: boring and derivative dancing, poorly articulated lyrics, not an earworm (after 3 listenings) and not a threat to the family dynamic. Would rather watch Pavlova, Michael Jackson, Barney.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Peter’s wife here. To set the record straight: I do not think this is pornographic. I love it. I think these three women are gorgeous and dance amazingly. The issue is not the music or the lyrics (the way I hear it, she’s pretty much in charge: if you want me, you need to make a commitment to me.) nor the costumes. The issue is this: young children, girls or boys, simply don’t understand the physical language involved. I wouldn’t want my daughters emulating this totally great dance (which they certainly would) without understanding what this kind of very sexy movement is communicating. They’re not ready to be using this body language, because they wouldn’t understand what they’re saying. I don’t mind them seeing it, which they have. I just don’t want this kind of thing to be the fabric of what they watch or listen to on a regular basis, until they’re ready to understand it. Then if they want to use this kind of body language, knowing what they’re doing, that will be their conscious choice.
Meanwhile, I’m glad it makes my husband so happy. I wish I looked that good in a leotard.
December 4th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I assume most of you have seen the movie Mean Girls. If you are like me and have seen it a million times (OK not really but it came out when I was in high school so we are safely in the 90,000 range), you remember that Regina George’s younger sister would mindlessly imitate what she saw on TV, which included belly dancing to Kelis’ song Milkshake and lifting her top to Girls Gone Wild commercials.
Well I can in no way compare Beyonce to either of those. She is far more talented and classy and I believe empowering to women. The song is empowering, and catchy, and she looks like she is having a blast, and god I wish I could dance like that.
But back to Mean Girls. The girl in the movie really didn’t know what she was seeing or what she was communicating. So I would have to agree with Mrs Sagal on the whole not viewing it thing. But as a song to listen to - totally go for it. As long as its not the kids pop version or whatever those horrible covers are. Please don’t do that to your children or yourself.
December 12th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
If you’re straight male: totally cool and acceptable
If you’re a straight female: admire it for about 1 minute but overall about 3 minutes too much bouncing and gyrating (sp?)
If you’re a gay male: pretty jealous
If you’re a gay female: pretty hot
Overall it all goes back to gender and sexual orientation you be the judge of how much you want to talk to kids about that
December 20th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I’m amazingly impressed that in this day and age your wife would feel that way. I’m not sure how much children’s programming you watch but the shows that are popular among third grade girls regularly feature young high-schoolers (and junior high-schoolers) making out as well as girls being told by hopeful male classmates that they should show up to some event in a bikini.
The fact that you, as a father, didn’t consider this impression, or even the possibility that the video is the kind of material that’s more interesting to our reproductive senses, rather than to our joy with cool choreography, shows how sexually licentious our culture is.
To be fair, that may be what’s best for the general happiness of the average human being, I don’t know. But in answer to your query, you’re both right. You’re right within the context that your children live in (you’re not Amish, are you?) and your wife is right within the context that (you don’t live in but that) would grant your daughters a far far FAR greater likelihood of retaining their sexual innocence until their in a relationship where that innocence is treasured and becomes the foundation for a life-long close marriage. But - again- that really isn’t an option unless you’re considering a move to Riyadh, so I suppose you’re correct and your wife’s view makes no sense at all in the atmosphere within which your children are actually being raised.
I make no apologies for sounding like I’m talking out of the 18th century. I believe I’m actually speaking out of the 22nd (in theory - in practice, I imagine that things will be so revolutionarily different in the 22nd century that any future sociologist’s recognition of what would have been a preferential culture in the 20th century will be almost irrelevant in the world within which they live).
mnuez
January 24th, 2009 at 10:13 am
even catchier: http://jezebel.com/5134429/whistle-while-you-work-it